Photo by Mohau Mannathoko on Unsplash

A need for space

It is possible that one of the reasons you ever fighting with no solution in almost every kind of relationship is because you are on each other’s neck. Your partner can’t breathe because you are forever squeezing his hand so that the world can applaud the beauty of love from you. I applaud too. Kiss each other in public for the world to know. Meanwhile, the bedroom at home is a courtroom all night long. Well played in pleasing the world yet losing your relationship bits. When your partner asks for space it might not always mean he is fed up with you. There is a need for a space to breathe, reflect and introspect. Solitary time is vital most of the time. Allow your partner to go out once in a while without you being present. Thank me later.

Do you remember the song, ‘girls wanna have fun?’ Well, I have noticed how happy women look when they are out alone without us, men. They laugh, drink to death if they partake but all is for fun. I have seen videos of happy women in a spar, hotel, and outings purely with no male. It is possible that’s how they refresh. Men too, need time to be away. Especially men, I repeat. Decision-makers and family protectors need time to be on their own to reflect and be ready at any time to make sound decisions. When someone asks for space it is indeed for space. Respect that without being suspicious. Men wanna watch sport too all day long if it means so. I am exaggerating.

It is a good thing to see people together and most of the time being a good example that love exists. I have also noticed that you can only miss someone when she is not around. That is the only time you can feel the gap and long for company. It is so sweet to meet each other after a long day, week, or month. A day without you is vital, one can say. Not in a bad way. But so that I can also reflect on how much I need company, especially yours. Yes indeed, too much of anything can be a problem. Too much of you in the house the whole year, 24/7, 365 days can be a problem. As a man when do you learn new tricks as the only dog in the house? Only when you get to be among other dogs.

Many people can account for this since the pandemic in 2020. The majority of domestic violence started during those days of lockdowns. Going to work, school, and doing about your business is an escape. Wanting to see one person the whole day and night might be a disorder. It is because you have been busy the whole day, that is why you miss each other. See, all those working from home I bet they miss the office. Not because they cannot find freedom in working from home but changing the environment now and then can be refreshing. Parents want kids to go back to school, not only because it’s too much of them in the house. So that they can refresh and meet other kids, learn from someone else and come back home missing parents dearly.

The need for space is part of the package otherwise you will suffocate and not knowing exactly why you love-hate each other. Go for a swim with other people, run maybe alone and some days together. Read a book on top of the tree. You will also learn about yourself when you have time for introspection. Don’t wait until you need notice your partner needs “social distance” of some sort. It is not a bad thing. Fresh air is necessary. Some people call it quality time. In some cultures I understand is not permissible. But one ought to find a way to get such time. Maybe these relationship fights will end when the other person is allowed once in a while to go out without the other half.

We need to remember one thing as well, that this person you are dating, married to was once single and survived. I cannot live without you is just to spice the love languages. There is no such thing in real life. It is just a figure of speech. es a letter, text sounds so romantic. A need for space permitted can relieve your partner from stress. The stress of trying to figure out what exactly are you looking for in life. This is time to really understand to playback memories so that you can as well go back to first love. It is possible as well that after that need for space one has made up his or her mind no need for you. I am kidding.



I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.

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Malibongwe Sithelo

I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.