I am stuck…

Thinking is not enough. It is not because people don’t know what they want in life, it is lack of taking the first step. You get up every morning with the intentions to bring about change in your life and live for others. If it is only in your head, then it’s just a fantasy. I am stuck because I overthink and end up not doing the things I ought to be doing. Perhaps I try but to say not trying enough is not a solution. How much is enough if we are all unique in nature. If our fingerprints are different then maybe our decisions and how we resolve issues should be different in a way.

Others take time to digest and make sense of what’s being said. Some catch everything from the start. When I grew up I had a conversation with one of my cousin sisters. We were talking about academics and progress at school. She was not the type that does homework and takes notes during classes. She could absorb everything as it is taught in class and make homework as it’s like class works. Meaning she was that type of a person who could do her work in the last moment and still outperform everyone in the class. You may assume that all people with such caliber of intelligence are now professors, doctors, and pilots the way they were so brilliant in class. Sometimes it turns out that they just became average or never finish high school as some take everything in life for granted. Others are entrepreneurs with no degree as one would assume they finished tertiary. If they have achieved something you will find out they are not doing what they studied for. They have learned to do things their way. To justify people like myself I would agree on what one man said,

“if it takes time for you to grasp things, surely it will take more time to forget if at all”.

Oh yes, Amen to that kinda consolation.

Nowadays, you find out we are stuck in the jobs we hate. We use the same route that bores us to our knees to get to work. Let alone being associated and scheduled to work with people you don’t even like. I am stuck indeed if all of the mentioned happens to me on daily basis. I am stuck because I cannot stand for anything. I am stuck if there is no way out of creating jobs for other. I am really stuck if the only person I can think of in this world is me. Never to be wondering what is it that I have done that would make others better. Okay, we are not here to solve everyone’s problem. Oh yes, say that again. How would you even take care of anyone if you cannot look after yourself first?

When I was around sixteen I thought by the age of 21 I’ll be established. Business, family, kids and not lacking at all financially. That is a good ambition. When you get to that age of 25 you realized nothing much has been done and you still consider yourself as young. Well, categorically you are still young. I think I am stuck because my kind of thinking is still the same while I was still small. The only way to explain and define success is to have all the material things the world has that makes everyone looks happy. The saying ‘I wanna be like everyone else out there”, makes me wonder if indeed I am living the best of me or for others. I am stuck because I still need to be myself yet I am working so hard to look like everyone. If in today’s’ world of social media the number of “Likes” ticked and comments on my status define how successful I am then I don’t know who I am. If that will define the best of me after all these years long before Technology did such improvement, I am stuck. Here is the thing, if you haven’t got to a point of admitting that you do have a problem when even other identify, surely you are stuck in life. It is either you get yourself out of it or continue living a mediocre life. Seek for help no man is an island of course. I am stuck in not exploring the world and nature only to give an excuse that it is only for the rich and wealthy. If I haven’t found what it means to make and maintain a good and healthy relationship now then, I am stuck in nothing else but myself.

If you always act as you know it all, then you will always be stuck. It’s not always being stubborn maybe you and I take time to grasp things. Maybe I am stuck because I don’t ask questions. I am afraid so sound so stupid. Yeah, then I will act it up as if I know. Getting to nowhere slowly that way. This is how I have learned that if I don’t ask questions, cry for help it is possible no one will come on the rescue. See, other people are good in such a way that they can resolve a problem that takes you a day to do in a few minutes. How about being nice and raise your hand if you don’t know or maybe if you have forgotten how it’s done. When I met with the thugs one morning the best thing I could do that made them panic and left with only a bag with a measly book inside was when I shouted out loud for help. I was like pressing a panic button and they drove off. I wasn’t really sure about that solution but it seemed like it was the only way to cry for help. It worked because all my other valuable items like a mobile phone were safe in my pockets. See, I got off the hook that way.

Lastly, I think sometimes I am stuck in the way I think. Thinking poorly keeps me a mediocre of all time.



I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.

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Malibongwe Sithelo

I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.