Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

Lifetime regrets to avoid

It is everyone’s hope to never live life with regrets but unfortunately, we do have plenty. In fact, life with no regrets is nothing but positive denial. I know you were expecting me to apply that stupid new age belief, the power of positive thinking. Regrets come into being in everyone’s life when you have disclosed information prematurely. When you have taken actions and reacted to circumstances unnecessarily. Avoid speaking when you are still angry. It is possible that you might say things you will regret later.

I have learned that in life excitement aside and face the facts always before making any decision. When you are so very upset wait until you cool off and then speak your mind. It is better to address situations when you are sober-minded. You are not a coward when someone steps on your toes and you do absolutely nothing at that time. Never buy anything while you are still under pressure. We most perform better when working under pressure because there are a target and goal to achieve at a specific time. In this case, there is no need to be reserved and wait for the right time. There is no right and enough time to make quality decisions. One has to think on his feet at all times. Risk-taking is better when all is calculated before execution. But be very sober.

I was very upset and up to the point of ending my long-time friendship. I am upset because it only rings a bell now that I have been conned almost every time he calls for help. It happened recently, a few days ago that he asked for money and my inner voice told me not to lend him. But he’s a friend and facing a scenario as he claimed. He promised to pay me back the following day, of which that was another redlight I was getting conned. I call him a conman because he has never paid me back any money ever since I’ve come to the rescue on all those occasions.

I am very upset with myself and I regret being of help the last time. I wanted to call and give him the peace of my mind because after all attempts trying to get hold of him, he was nowhere to be found only to return my call a few days later. He promised to pay later that evening or the following day and nothing happened days passed. I kept quiet except asking for the money. See, if I had reacted I might have said things that I had to regret later. In as much as I know he will also read this, I’ll only get my money and be gone for good. Never lend money when you know someone is only desperate without any written down the agreement, nowadays.

In life never go shopping and buy the stuff you do not need just because you want to keep up with the Joneses. While you are sleeping you don’t know what they are doing to get what they have. If you really want to then go for it and you have to do exactly what they do. There is good peer pressure, which is acceptable. If you want to get somewhere in life and there are people you admire and look up to, that’s ok. When you see that most schoolmates have progressed in life and you are nowhere closer to your goals, then you can chase them at the appropriate pace for you.

Never react too soon to anything especially when you are excited or angry. Life is full of regrets. Stress sometimes is the result of self-denial and to realise later you shouldn’t have to. Yes, indeed life is full of surprises and you can only learn through trial and error. You will never know until you try something. We learn, we fail, and move on. Regrets are always going to be part of our lives, but dwelling on failure is not going to serve your goals and aspirations. Ambitions shouldn’t die because you regret you dated that loser, toxic manipulative person. Failing is part of our lives. Moving forward is the driving force.

I am hurt that some friends are only there in life to take. I regret that I don’t listen to my inner voice. The gut feeling. Your intuition cannot always be wrong. It is a fight within the self, I know. Never buy a brand new car if you cannot afford to pay it cash unless it’s one of the most pressing plans on your list. Listening to everyone in order to fix your relationship is only going to lead to disaster. Most people out there are coming or in a relationship that can’t be fixed. Never listen to everyone. It is only when you have asked for help that you can at least pay attention to what you’re being told but never believe every piece of advice is working.



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Malibongwe Sithelo

I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.