Malibongwe Sithelo
3 min readJan 23, 2022
Photo by Christina @ on Unsplash

Many communicate but few connect

This was a statement by one of my friends and a colleague back then, Denzel Pedro Smit. It stayed on me as long as I’ve heard it. It made sense as time goes when I realized I have so many contacts on my phone yet only one or two regular chats.

It boils me sometimes when a person will confront you for not saying ‘Hi’ yet you were online. What makes even things worse is that person is the one who saw you online but failed to do exactly the same thing.

We bother ourselves in trying to figure out why do you have to be the only one who always initiates calls and chats. Trust me there is only one person or two who will always call, chat and return your missed call. The person you connect with. Maybe your soulmate, parent, or cousin.

Have you ever noticed that a significant other’s “Hi” will always mean a lot? The person you connect with can just send one measly emoji yet carries weight means a lot to you. The rest when in a thousand years send any of the above you become so very clueless of what they are up to. It is because many, indeed communicate but few connect.

We may have a long conversation but if we do not connect nothing much will be remembered about that meeting. When telling a story you engage and connect for the message to at least get across. I do not suggest that connection is the sign of a successful meeting outcome. Things only get easier and done quicker if we connect. Not always. We don’t have to agree in everything to be connected. Debates and arguments are not always bad.

Your soulmate will make one phone call for hours and it will feel like you’ve just started a few seconds ago. One guy on the radio once said delete contacts of people who hardly call, chat with you because you don’t need them and they won’t even notice. I also enjoy when I see someone trying to connect on WhatsApp as unsaved. The joy of asking, ‘who’s this’ is an indication of poor communication.

My cousin Siphokazi will take a week or even a month has not called or chatted but when I see her missed call I attend to it immediately. We connect even if it’s been a while ever since we talked. She does the same by replying to my stupid meaningless emojis. It is because we connect for things that look stupid.

Connecting with people brings about happiness. Deals are well negotiated when parties connect. Relationships work when all the parties are in good books as far as communication with connection is concerned. We feel each other’s pulse when connected and be able to make up our minds as to where are going in life together.

I have made peace with the few contacts I have to stay connected and let go of the rest. I deleted the number of people on my mobile phone without notice. They do have my number after all.

Malibongwe Sithelo

I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.