Relationships cannot be perfect

It is either one of you already not living a dream that all is well for the last 100 years in partnership. One of you is absolutely cheating if ever since you dated, married and cohabited everything about the two of you is perfect. The thing about what makes relationship strive is like untangling a tangled Christmas tree. It is like fighting all night about why did you ask me if I’m ok or not and still willing to stay together.

If all things are perfect in your relationship one of you is actually cheating. Cheating about his her feelings about making decisions without the other and still ok about it. Pastors are among people who perpetrate domestic violence because wives needs to be submissive and never disagree as a sign to disbey every stupid decision made by the so called “man of God". Touch not the announced ones dictatorship and autocracy is really cause of many gender based violence in our society.

I was talking to someone recently about her friend who is in a relationship where her partners who’s is doing everything for her. Paying for meals, weaves, nails and she goes out with whoever friends she want to take out. Got a car and house but the man is never there. He goes out with other people other than her. Probably satisfying himself somewhere else. She is absolutely not happy. Not happy even after that impulsive shopping every weekend because she is doing it all alone. The problem here is she might have thought dating a man who does everything even if he’s not there most of the time will be perfect.

The relationship with your children, siblings if it does not have problems and it’s perfect surely one of you is bully. When children all 365 days without some sort of rebellion then they’re dying inside.

One couple booked a minster as pre marriage counseling. The meeting didn’t last long. Only because when the marriage counsellor asked if they ever had disagreement and fights, conflicts they said no! Marriage counselor dismissed the session and told them to come when they are ready for marriage commitment.

I visited one of my brother’s in law is was upset one time. My two nephews were playing with me the whole time while he was at work. Playful and having fun with me. I allowed them to be kids run all over me, argued about the remote whether we should watch cartoons the whole day. See that’s the part they enjoyed our disagreements. But as soon as their father arrived they started to behave, silent Nd we were watching news and he asked them to pray for the food. I hated every moment when these kids show were kids few hours ago no all of a sudden they must be perfect kids not playful in the house. See, when you resolve the issue about your children it means they are not perfect and you are not as well that’s ok. That’s how we make progress and live a happy life.

We are striving for perfect but allow the other flaws of life to happen. The best time in life is when you come out ok after all those flaws. That’s living. One of you is denying realities of life if everything about your relationship is perfect. Relationships cannot be perfect so stop working so hard trying to get one. You won’t find it. It doesn’t exist.

One ad I love the most was about when a voice over that had a line that said, 'if everyone is thinking that same thing, someone is surely not thinking.’

If the two or three of you after all the fights are still willing to be together irrespective of all mistakes, problems and flaws, then you start living

I'm a freelance writer, a runner and a public servant in South Africa. I write about everyday life experiences.

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